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Monday, January 3, 2011

Crispy Kale Chips

Sometimes, I need a snack. A crispy, slightly salty, chip-like wafer of crunchy goodness if you know what I mean. It has to be light and airy and full of flavor. Not just any chip will do. First of all, aside from sweet potato chips and perhaps a few cassava chips every now and then, chips of any kind are pretty much out of the question.

Until, of course, I came face to face with: The kale chip. Stay with me now! I forbid you to exit from this post until you at least commit to trying these. It just takes a couple of minutes... I promise.

So here's what you do (if you're me...)

Gather 25 diapers, a dozen pairs of underwear, 4 sippy cups, 3 dvds for the car, a portable potty, double stroller, 2 complete changes of clothes (and one for me), snacks for two, but not the same snack! Toddlers can't like the same snack, even if they are twins. Shove all of this into one diaper bag and pray that you don't need what's on the bottom of the bag. Throw that over your neck. Now grab your purse. WAIT! Double check that your wallet is actually in there this time. Car keys? Check! Now, it's herding time. Like a blue ribbon Australian Sheppard, herd your toddlers into the car trying ever so desperately not to lose one.

Diaper bag in, purse in, overly large and way too heavy double stroller in (thank you CrossFit), toddlers in. Buckle, buckle buckle!

"Me peepee!"............................... you've got to be kidding me......................

Unbuckle, unbuckle, unbuckle.............too late............. grab one pair of underwear and change of clothes...............use them before you leave the driveway.

Ok.... you can do this. Buckle, buckle, buckle and off we go.

Sing songs, listen to the DVD in the car for the 100th time knowing every word of every cartoon. Resist the urge to gouge your eyes out and beat your head against the steering wheel because the DVD is actually giving your ten minutes of peace while little eyes are glued to it with nary a blink.

Get to the store. Unbuckle, unbuckle, unbuckle. Toddlers in way to heavy stroller. Diaper bag over shoulder, purse in hand. Proceed into store and buy exactly $4.00 worth of kale. Leave. Repeat all steps above in the reverse order while asking yourself if this was really worth it. Answer: Yes.

Back at home and here's what you'll need:

One bunch of kale washed and dried

one clove of garlic, make it a big one

olive oil

sea salt

What you do:

Preheat your oven to broil or 500. Cut the tough center stem out of the kale and discard. Cut the leaves to about a standard "chip size". Finely chop the garlic or you can use garlic powder to taste if you'd rather. Get out a baking sheet and drizzle it with olive oil. Put the kale on top of the oil and lightly toss it in the oil with your hands. You will want to coat all the kale nicely without making it all drippy so start with less oil and add more if needed. Sprinkle with the garlic and sea salt.

Pop the tray into the oven and watch it carefully for 5 minutes. Since oven heats and times vary so greatly, be sure to stay close. You don't want burnt kale after all the work of going to the store. Half way through the cook time take a pair of tongs and toss the kale around to promote even cooking.

When the kale is done it will be light and crisp and still green. Remove it from the oven and let it cool... well, attempt to let it cool. I usually just stand in front of the molten hot tray while using my best elbow and hip check to keep my husband back and eat it right on the spot.